1. |
cynical like me
02:15
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sometimes i wish i'd lose control and let the walls cave in
i'd like to feel those wooden beams piercing through my skin
the eerie thought of blood and guts gives me a lot of glee
too bad your bless-ed fragile mind isn't cynical like me
it feels so good to know that i could
tear you apart to shreds, i would
i wish you were having as much fun as me
i like to set your things on fire and watch them die in flames
not as much as conjuring things and putting you up to blame
let us sink into my bed like a euphoric breeze
we tend to isolate ourselves being cynical like we
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2. |
that one doesn't count
01:22
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i said 'hope', i was wrong
shut my mouth, get out the car
leave me room ((i've got no room))
i'll look away and hope it works
is it 8? or is it 9?
i promise i am not the kind
of girl who gets through life on lies
i don't wanna count this time
next time you'll remember me:
that girl with high anxiety
cuz men like you tend to be
strung out on masculinity
i'll try not to let this man
feed into my depression
one thing is for sure, no doubt:
that one doesn't count!
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3. |
wincing
02:30
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i was fucking around, didn't know what you'd think
all fucking around with too much to drink
i'll pretend i'm fine like i'm stupid and numb
we'll go to the show and sing 'too drunk 2 cum'
remember the times when it was all new?
it ended with times where there was nothing to do
now it's feeling alright like we both have a say
i'd kill for the times that it'd been this way
i can't harm anyone but myself
i'll glance at the guys that try to be cute
wish i could talk to them and get over you
for the thousandth time, i'm feeling alright
i'm happier now that there's no end in sight
i'll close me eyes when i'm trying to see
the kind of people that we wanna be
i'm doing alright if you wanted to know
i'm doing alright since i've watched you go
i can't harm anyone but myself
i can't trust anyone but myself
i can't be with anyone but myself
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4. |
as they are
02:49
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i get lost when you try to find me
i'll remember to bring some bread
i've been thinking about them lately
haven't been feeling dead
my tights keep ripping from the friction
i'm not sure if i care
i'm narcissistic with conviction
i'm compulsive and cut my hair
i wanna vomit on their faces
i'll shower you with what i feel
i'm feeling good in many places
i like it when your lips are sealed
if you're thinking the same as i am
tell me we're all good
paint me a slut, whatever, i guess
you would and you could
i am happy, i don't give a
fuck what you think, you're not happy
spin me lies and hurtful words, i
love to fuck up all your lies
do you think i'm prettier this
way? i don't care what you think
being me is a luxury
being me is what i wanna be
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5. |
can't say (cover)
01:48
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6. |
ode to deadbeat punk bfs
01:59
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i lack confidence wherever you see fit
i know you - you'll knock it back in place
strangle all the choices that i make
choke 'em out until they grasp for air
make me believe that you really care
make me believe that we're the perfect pair
he likes to take me on vacations -
last week he took me on a guilt trip
force me into all of my panics,
then say i take things too serious
make me believe i'm just a stupid bitch
make me believe that there's no more to this
i lose my confidence every time you fuck me
snap me into a motherfucking daydream
i'm gonna be the girl who's always fucking reaching
i'm not meant to fucking settle for these things
check in on me every time i'm happy -
that way you'll never lose your grip on me
tell all of your friends your girlfriend's fucking crazy
that way they'll never know what's going on
make them believe you're someone that you're not
make me believe you're all that i got
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7. |
survival is masturbatory
02:54
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you think i care 'bout you cuz i'm a succubus?
i really wanna get in your head
ever cross your mind maybe you're useless?
i've thought about it twice when you're in my bed
do you get off on being ambiguous?
don't touch me there unless i've said
hey, maybe i think you've confused us
with memories and winters of discontent
tell me what to do you know i'll do it
you know that i'm here to please
tell me what to do you know i'll do it
just know that i'm not cheap
you think that i love you cuz i'm a succubus?
my mind edits all that you've said
ever think you'll find someone that you trust?
i'm not here for you in the end
fucking use me until i'm turned to dust
'wow, i didn't know you're so well-read'
hey, maybe i think you've confused us
with some women that actually give a shit
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8. |
hi, ill! my name is dad
01:54
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i'll just make sure to navigate life
cautiously, avoiding potential attacks
i'll slip in comforting buzz words
randomly, to push you away
i'll kick walls and scream into pillows
inaudibly, drowned out by white noise
i'll make faces in mirrors
ensuring nothing get through to you
i'll drink copious amounts of caffeine
religiously, to hide my stress
i'll smoke more bowls of weed
daily, to make sense of my lethargy
i'll play music in my room
loudly, to cover up all self-reflection
i'll lay in my bed
indefinitely, refusing to accept i'm ill
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9. |
moonsick
03:18
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i just got sick in a brand new way
your 'filthy mind' is a joke
my sickness has a lot to say
last time i checked you choked
i killed you in my head six times today
the new high score has been set
god is begging for me to pray
is he real or is it in my head?
oh, i just can't place it
am i wrong or am i gonna die?
so close, i'm gonna commit
a stupid crime and say goodbye
sometimes i wish i'd forget
the pictures in my mind's eyes
oh, i guess i'm listening to myself
i like to think i'm what you see
a face that looks unaware
they say insanity comes in threes
three too many i could bear
they're all coming after me
the time has come to succumb
my conscious is absentee
body is done, high and strung
oh, i just can't place it
am i wrong or am i gonna die?
so close, i'm gonna commit
suicide and say goodbye
sometimes i wish i'd forget
the pictures in my mind's eyes
oh, i guess i'm listening to myself
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raddicus finch Los Angeles, California
pretty sad, pretty disappointing
they/them
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